Recently, someone in my life told me that I don't have faith and that's why my life is not where I want it to be. Naturally, I was insulted by this person assuming that I didn't possess faith. I was also dumbfounded because I know plenty of faithful people who are not where they want to be and life is equally as hard for them, some even harder. But the conversation really got me thinking about some questions and how some answers just didn't match the God that know and relate to.
1. What would you call a person who only helped you out so that you could be totally dependent on them? Meaning they would pay for your schooling, but keep your degree in their library. Meaning they would fill out your job applications for you, but keep all your pay checks. Meaning they would introduce you to the love of your life, but they would also sleep with them.
Most people would consider that to be a toxic and manipulative friend or parent. So why is it different with God?
2. Why would God create us as humans, only to then get upset when we have human emotions?
You're telling me, I can't be disappointed or upset or untrusting due to my life circumstances that He has complete control over??
3. If I have free will to make my own choices and decisions, why is then that things don't work out it's because He decides they aren't for me? Is it free will or not?
Pick a story.
Because frankly, if my choices are "do what I say or suffer", I don't want any parts.
4. God wants you to try, but not too hard unless He'll think you don't trust Him. But also if you don't try at all, He's going to be upset that you're not carrying your weight or contributing. What kind of game is this??
5. If you do the wrong thing, he might still bless you. Or He might temporarily bless you and take it away. If you do the right thing, he might bless you. Or He might temporarily bless you and take it away. Very low statistics there.
5. How can you believe that God knows your life plan, yet refuses to tell it to you and is then watching you suffer in the meantime, and then think that it's love? That's love to you? Because my mother doesn't let me or any of her children suffer knowingly regardless of where our relationship stands at the time. Because THAT'S actual unconditional love.
6. Why do I have to prove anything in order to receive love, grace and favor?? Are those not conditions? How can you love someone and watch them suffer KNOWING you have the power to stop it??
If all billionaires are bad people, there's no way God can exist like that and not be lumped with them. Because if you have the capability to do good, end homelessness, end world hunger, etc., you should.
I don't know. I'm frustrated. I talk to God about my problems. I give Him credit for the miracles in my life. And it stills seems very, 25%ish to me. You can do all the right things and get nothing for it. You can do all the wrong things and get everything for it. You can do all the right things and get everything for it. You can do all the wrong things and get nothing for it.
It just seems easier to live life and hope that things are in your favor.
Living life in fear of "what would God want me to do" is manipulative and fake. But also, not accurate. Many people have experienced horrible trauma due to someone's belief that that's what God wanted them to do (see: colonization).
I 100% believe in doing the right things, because love and kindness. I don't think you should be a good person just to get favor from God or make it into heaven or whatever He's dangling in front of you at that moment. Be a good person, just to be a good person.
That being said, I believe that God has done and will always do exactly what He wants. That's it. All we can do is just exist on this planet and try to survive and hope that we're in alignment with what He decides He wants to do.
This has been a rant of my mind. That's all.
