2020

The new year happens in just under 25 hours.

I'll probably be spending it alone.

I want to be excited and hopeful for the new year like everyone else. However, I'm not there. I'm stressing about my education, my job, money, personal growth, family, etc. I don't want to disappoint people this year, but I feel it's inevitable. I don't know.

Being alone is tragic but routine.

I wish I could just sleep until June and see where I am when I wake up. Did I get into school? Did I keep my job? Did I make it to my sister's graduation? Am I moving?

I don't know.

Karma

Why isn't life more reflective of Karma?
Must we continue to give, give, give and get nothing in return?
Are we misunderstanding that which we get in return?

[insert afrocentric hair pick]

You
are like a crash course for beauty.
Spinning, spiraling and turning with no direction.
You're indecisive.
Frustratingly so.
But
Sometimes there's beauty in your internal separation.
You mimic the clouds.
In shape and size, sometimes high, sometimes low.
You draw the attention of onlookers, as they marvel at your shapeshifting.
You
literally create an unrecognizable world with every shape you take.